What It All Means...

In general, I'm a very private person. I like to blog about the value of romance novels and about what it takes to be a writer, but I resist detailed blogging about my personal life. However, today I'm going to make an exception. I won the Golden Heart for Best Paranormal Romance on Saturday night and the experience has completely rocked me.

For those of you who don't know, I finaled in the GH once before, back in 2005. Amazed and honored, I delighted in the fairytale ride of being a finalist at the silver anniversary of the RWA National Conference. It was an experience I'll never forget. But that final turned out to be the start of a rather dry period in my successes as a writer. I entered contests and got no where. I submitted to agents and garnered nothing but polite no-thank-yous. I suffered a bout of severe self-doubt and stumbled in my pursuit of publication.

Not surprising, perhaps, in light of what was going on in other parts of my life.

Six months after my 2005 GH final, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and although I kept writing, those moments were sandwiched between caring for her and trying to support my blind father. My mom passed away in August of 2006, leaving a very large gap in our lives. Sadly, the bad news did not end there. That same year, my sister, the mother of two young girls, was diagnosed with breast cancer – just before Christmas. She underwent aggressive treatment, including surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. Today, she's healthy and doing well, thank heaven. But our family received more bad news in February of 2008 – my father was called back from a winter vacation because tests done just before he left showed his prostate cancer had metastasized.

Although I was thrilled to receive a call in March telling me that I was once again a GH finalist, my excitement was naturally tempered by my father's condition. Difficult as it was, I made the decision not to attend the RWA National Conference so I could stay home with my dad. I don't regret that decision, even though I wish with all my heart I could have thanked the judges and met some of my co-finalists in person.

This past year, many things have gone well with my writing – I finaled in all three contests I entered, I had a record number of requests for full manuscripts, I signed with a terrific agent, and now, I’m a Golden Heart winner. To say I'm happy doesn't remotely capture how much this all means to me.

All I know is that I couldn't have come this far without the support of some terrific people:
– my daughter Taylor, whose faith in me has never wavered
– my very good friend Sylvia Day, who has been nothing short of incredible
– my chapter mates in ORWA
– my fellow 2005 GH finalists, the Wild Cards
– my fellow 2008 GH finalists, the Pixie Chicks (even though I've been MIA on our loop, I read every message)
– and more recently, my agent Laurie, who has amazed me with how much she 'gets' my writing

So, I'm writing this to tell you that clouds really do have silver linings. In fact, as you can see, sometimes they're gold.